The HitchHiker’s Guide: Living  1

It is said that before you die, your life passes before your eyes.  This is, in fact, true.

This process, called “living,” tends to be a rather tedious affair, often requiring lots of nothing to do (commonly including non-tasks like “sleeping,” “waiting,” and “watching Internet videos”), and occasionally entertaining periods of increased activity, commonly known as “excitement,” that often end with statements about the person’s willingness to repeat the period.  On the whole, though, the process is a long, boring one; nothing to write home about, particularly if said home has been demolished to make way for a hyperspace bypass, leaving the writer with nothing to say anyways, although it could just as easily be said that it would leave them an awful lot to say, but just nobody to whom it can be said.

Boredom itself is interesting, because it doesn’t exist anywhere outside the mind of man, who is so incredibly creative, that when an astonishing event occurs, he will not be astonished, simply because he’s already imagined it, himself as its cause, and found thirty-five different ways to use it in similarly fantastic and improbable ways, none of which would actually work if he actually tried them.  This creativity so completely overwhelms one’s perception of the universe, that nothing that actually happens can compare with the imagination of man, leading him to a completely boring life, filled with distractions such as watching cats do silly things, someone else play video games, and, of course, game shows where people promise anything if you just elect them.

Why mankind doesn’t consider such distractions in and of themselves boring is a mystery that eludes even the most creative minds.  Even the ones who create Internet videos.